After 20 years on Wall Street—managing risk, leading teams, and sitting at the table during high-stakes negotiations—I’ve seen firsthand what real emotional resilience looks like.
And I’ve also seen how some of today’s well-meaning mental health advice is backfiring—especially for professionals in fast-paced, high-accountability environments like finance.
Here are 3 (plus a bonus) patterns I’m seeing that are weakening leaders instead of strengthening them.
1. Turning Labels Into Identity
In finance, we love labels—Buy/Sell, Bull/Bear, Risk-On/Risk-Off. But when it comes to mental health, labels are meant to inform, not define who you are.
Here are some common things that I hear senior professionals say:
- “I’m a Type A, so I guess that’s what makes me appear aggressive or edgy.”
- “I have anxiety, so I try to avoid giving presentations, espeically in front of large groups of people.”
The problem?
These labels become a mental stop-loss order on personal growth.
Case in Point:
One Managing Director I worked with used to joke that he was “just wired for stress”—but it wasn’t until he learned to increase his capacity to absorb the shocks, regulate and reset between meetings, before big presentations and family dinner that his leadership (and home life) improved.
In another coaching session, I was working with a senior female executive who claimed feedback on her “aggressive or edgy communication style” felt too hard to change. In her view she was just being efficient since she needed to balance so many obligatoins at work and home. Implementing a brain-friendly framework to tweak her reactive stance into response mode has helped her on the path to developing an automated habit going forward.
Neuroscience takeaway:
Your brain builds whatever pathways you repeatedly reinforce. Identifying with the limitation wires that limitation deeper.
2. Pathologizing Normal Work Stress
Not every tense meeting is “toxic.”
Not every tough manager is a “narcissist.”
Not every tight deadline is “trauma.”
Finance or any corporate high stakes role is built on volatility and pressure. That’s the job.
Example from the trading floor:
I once coached a VP who described every missed deadline or critical feedback as “toxic management.” But when we stepped back, it was clear: the issue wasn’t toxicity—it was uncalibrated expectations and underdeveloped stress management skills. Even if a manager may be a little harsh or too direct, we can often improve the relationship by learning to deal with a certian personality type, rather than against it.
Wall Street Truth:
Tough quarters, demanding clients, market swings, performance reviews… all of these are stressors—but they’re also where leaders are forged.
Neuroscience lens:
Moderate, well-managed stress increases neuroplasticity and problem-solving capacity. Over-pathologizing hard work trains your brain to fear pressure instead of build through it.
3. The External Validation Trap
On Wall Street, no one hands you a gold star for every long night, every negotiation, or every client fire drill you handle.
Yet increasingly, we feel paranoid and disengaged if we don’t get constant praise.
Let’s be real:
Leadership isn’t about being seen. It’s about delivering impact even when no one’s watching, and then selectively showcasing your good work so your sponsors can fight for you when it matters.
Example:
When we grew our Healthcare Debt business from 10th place among our competition to a consistent top 5 league table spot—there were quarters no one applauded. No pat on the back. Just performance.
There was a time and place to ensure the progress was recognized – first for the benefit of the firm, then for me.
Neuroscience lens:
Leaders driven by internal motivation (vs. external applause) activate more stable dopamine pathways and are less susceptible to burnout cycles caused by reward chasing.
You just need to learn how to be strategic about how and when to showcase your wins.
Bonus: The Myth of the “Safe Space”
In finance, there’s no “safe space” when the market’s down 800 points before 9:30 AM.
The real-world version of psychological safety in this field?
Knowing you can handle tough conversations, high-stakes decisions, and ambiguity—without unraveling.
Example:
During earnings season, I’ve seen teams deliver bad news to shareholders, pivot strategy on a dime, and go straight into the next decision—because that’s what leadership demands.
Neuroscience lens:
Growth requires controlled friction. Leaders who constantly seek emotionally “cushioned” environments develop learned helplessness—not resilience.
Bottom Line:
If your current mindset (or social media feed) is encouraging you to label, catastrophize, or outsource your emotional regulation… it’s time to recalibrate.
Mental health support should build your capacity, not shrink it.
In high-stakes environments like finance, resilience isn’t a nice-to-have—it’s your competitive edge.
Most of us don’t need more safe spaces. We need stronger internal scaffolding.
That’s the real work of leadership growth… and where NeuroEdge comes in.