Let’s be honest: most people think they’re better communicators than they really are. But neuroscience tells a different story.
Whether you’re pitching to clients, leading a team meeting, or stepping onto a bigger stage, two brains are at work: yours, and your audience’s. And both are running unconscious filters that shape how your message is received—or missed entirely.
If we want to lead with influence, we have to speak in a way the brain actually trusts and remembers. Here’s a brief taste of one of my talent development series on communication.
The Audience Filter: What Their Brain is Asking
Within the first 7–15 seconds, your audience is scanning for two things:
1. Warmth – Are you safe? Relatable? Likable?
2. Competence – Do you know what you’re talking about?
If either is missing, their brain tunes out.
Research (backed by my 20 years of client relationship experience) shows that when we meet someone—especially a decision maker—our brain decides first: Are they trustworthy? Only then does it ask: Are they smart? If that first safety check fails, competence won’t matter. That’s why warmth isn’t a soft skill—it’s a trust trigger.
Your audience is also making snap judgments based on:
- Tone, body language, and eye contact (which the brain processes faster than words)
- How structured and clear your message is
- Whether you’re pairing logic with emotion (think: a sharp insight plus a short story or relevant case study)
When your message feels warm, credible, and easy to follow, the brain says: “Yes—this matters.
The Internal Filter: What’s Happening in Your Brain
Now let’s flip the lens: what’s happening in your brain while you’re speaking?
Even seasoned leaders can find themselves blanking out, rambling, or sounding robotic under pressure. That’s because stress triggers a cortisol spike that hijacks the prefrontal cortex—the brain’s center for executive function, verbal fluency, and clear thinking. The result? You may lose access to clarity, precision, and presence—just when you need them most.
Further, research shows that when you’re overly focused on your own material, winning the argument, or controlling the conversation—especially in sales or client meetings—your brain’s stress response intensifies, narrowing your cognitive bandwidth. To be effective, your brain needs to limit its perception and fully tune into the client’s perspective. This intentional narrowing helps you listen deeply, respond with empathy, and avoid the pitfalls of tunnel vision.
Adopting a partnership mentality—where the client is speaking nearly as much as you—creates a balanced dialogue that fosters trust and collaboration. Neuroscience reveals that such interactions promote neural synchrony, enhancing mutual understanding and paving the way for stronger relationships and better outcomes.
These are things I work on with my clients, whether you need to strategies to manage nerves, or up your game and maximize neural synchrony with your client.
The Six Pillars of Stickiness™
What Makes Communication Memorable, Motivating, and Trusted
After years of working with the best (and worst) leaders in high-stakes environments—and drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and executive coaching—I’ve identified six essential elements that make communication stick.
These are the tools I teach in my coaching and workshops, and they consistently shift how people show up, lead conversations, and influence outcomes.
1. Simple
✦ Clarity always wins.
Speak like a human, not a press release. Drop the jargon. Use a conversational tone. The smartest person in the room makes the complex feel clear.
✅ Tip: Frame your message in terms of what your audience cares about
✅ E.g.: “Here’s what I know is top of your priorities right now…”
2. Concrete
✦ Structure earns attention.
Our brains love frameworks:
- “Here are 3 key drivers”
- “What matters now, next, and long term”
- “Problem → Options → Recommendation”
You’d be shocked at how many meetings I’ve observed over my career with clients where there is no structure, no solid pre-determined agenda. The more structured your ideas, the more competent you appear. Not only that, but your clients remember what you said and then use it to sell the idea internally to their stakeholders.
3. Credible
✦ Specifics build authority. Vagueness erodes it.
Back up insights with data, direct experience, or client stories. And if something’s uncertain, say so with confidence:
✅ “Here’s what we know. Here’s what we’re watching. Here’s what we’re preparing for.”
4. Connection
✦ People decide with emotion, then justify with logic.
Warmth opens ears. Make eye contact. Relax your face. Use open gestures. Calibrate your energy to feel natural and intentional. There’s a lot that goes into this, but I’m mostly a fan of taking your individual style and then tweaking it. Warmth does not necessarily mean bubbly, overly energetic or being too friendly.
✅ Don’t perform. Just be present.
5. Storytelling
✦ Facts tell. Stories stick.
Data activates logic. A short, vivid example activates memory. Pair the two and you hit both sides of the brain.
✅ E.g. “Last quarter’s numbers showed X. One client told me it’s already changing how they…”
6. The Unexpected
✦ Our brains are wired for novelty.
A moment of spontaneity can light up the room—and trigger neural synchrony between you and your audience. This could be an off-the-cuff remark, an unanticipated but on thought provoking question, or a moment of humor.
✅ Bottom line: Loosen your grip on the script.
Final Thought
You don’t need to be a natural performer to be a powerful speaker.
You just need to speak in a way the brain understands and trusts.
When you lead with clarity, structure, warmth, and presence—you don’t just get your message across.
You make it stick.